Chapter 10 General Wang

I am ready to wake up Wang Lao Er to leave together, but Wang Lao Er remains seated, looking quite smug: "Kid, you still need to do me a favor. Do you know why I am telling you all this nonsense... ah no, the secrets of heaven? Haven't you noticed that the atmosphere here is a bit off?"

Wang Laor Er felt quite awkward, while Chen Pangzi continued to sell him: "He is the Director of the Central Special Affairs Investigation Department, holding the rank of Major General"

I supported Wang Laoer as I sent him home. This fellow is not young, and his appetite is considerable; he managed to consume at least half a pig's head along with other dishes, which is truly surprising.

Upon hearing this, Wang Laoer immediately shouted loudly: "You little brat, are you even selling me now? You've really grown up."

What do you want to do

Wang Laoer remained quite calm: "I have to take the train early tomorrow, right? At my age, I easily get motion sickness, so I can't waste my energy before heading out. I've taken measures this time; anyone who sees this side won't want to come in. Those in the building have already gone to bed."

Wang Lao'er lives in the staff dormitory of the Taoist Association, which is not very far from here; it takes about twenty minutes to walk. Supporting him, we slowly walked along the road where the cool breeze blew, and not a single person could be seen along the way. Indeed, a small city does not have the same liveliness as a big city. During the New Year, everyone has to honestly stay at home.

Indeed, at the moment I kicked it, I also lost my balance and fell to the ground, while that monster, struck on the head by my kick, performed a graceful somersault in the air and crashed headfirst into the nearby utility pole

Wang Laoer spoke in one breath without a pause, and I was left utterly confused, hearing phrases like "Feng Xiaoyue" and "Shuan Laogou" amidst a jumble of incoherent words

Wang Lao Er glared: "Don't you dare think nonsense, making a scarecrow, do I still need to make a scarecrow? Don't look at me, do you think only you can read minds? I've been able to do it for decades. But that girl Xiaoyue is too formidable; if she weren't your sister, I would have sealed her first. However, with you around, she won't cause any trouble. Let's not talk about that, or you'll end up beating me. This time, I will be gone for at least three to four years, and you need to keep an eye on Dehai and the others, don't let them cause any trouble for me."

I attempted to communicate with the increasingly close monster, but it ended in failure. No matter how I insulted, mocked, ridiculed, or questioned it, it remained completely indifferent to me, continuing to gaze at Wang Laor Er with its ample B-cup.

When I realized that I had been played by him once again, I was filled with anger once more: "You just said that you fear no one, and now you're here looking for trouble with me?"

When I took a look, it turned out to be the compass that we had previously overwhelmed with our * graphic * book, now with an added base, making it much more visually appealing than that bare compass.

However, when I took that compass, the tragic Ultraman had already shifted its target from Wang Lao Er to me, and it was making strange noises.

Chen Pangzi, upon hearing Wang Laoer’s words, saluted him and said, "Report, Chief. I am the Director of the Special Affairs Management Office for the Central China region, holding the rank of Lieutenant Colonel"

I glared: "Don't just talk for the sake of talking. You think you can pursue Xiaoyue? Forget it. I'm done talking. I'll take you back. I have to restock early tomorrow morning." This guy hasn't come in for three or four days, all because of these messy matters.

At this moment, Wang Lao Er approached, crouched down, and carefully observed the Ultraman that I had stepped on: "Heaven, Earth, Water, Fire, Thunder, Mountain, Marsh, little cutie, since you are being crushed by the mountain, don't struggle. Tell me who the hell sent you here?"

There is no way, just get lost.

Old Wang, that shameless old fool, is actually over there laughing with glee: "Indeed, he has his eyes on the key. It seems someone doesn't want me to unlock the mysterious garden. Go! Go! Let's kill it."

During this period, I also received a New Year greeting call from Old Wang Ba. He said he wanted to thank us properly and would come to pay us a visit in a few days. However, I feel that he is actually looking for us to help him with something. This Old Wang Ba appears to be simple and honest on the surface, but deep down, he is definitely the kind of ruthless character who only gets up early for profit. This is my literal understanding of him from the few times I have interacted with him.

I took a look, and what he said makes sense. If I were Wang Lao Er, even if that thing were adorned with a thousand-year-old He Shou Wu, I would absolutely not touch it. I find it hard to understand how it could smell this bad

I shouted at Wang Lao Er: "Damn it, what the hell do you want me to do with such disgusting things?"

Wang Lao Er's eyes widened: "Do you have any common sense? Fortunately, you don't have Second Uncle, otherwise just wait and see how I would talk about you. Didn't I tell you that you are a mockery of the wind? The Nine Sons of the Dragon, do you think this dragon is the kind that Nezha has in his mind? This dragon represents the chaos of heaven and earth; in modern terms, it encompasses all of nature. The other eight are natural phenomena, for instance, Yazhi represents tsunamis, and Baxia represents earthquakes. Only you are a living being; you are the coordinator of these eight entities. You don't have much capability on your own, but no one can withstand your eight brothers. Therefore, you are a good omen among good omens. I don't know the specifics, but that's what the book says, as for Xiao Yue."

Wang Laoer, after cleaning his ears, patiently began to explain to me: "Don't you understand? Your sister is the Bodhisattva of the Peacock. She just came from the same womb as you, and because she carries your scent, she can't be fierce. I really don't know what kind of good deeds your parents did in their past lives, or how much virtue they accumulated; it’s almost like saving the world.

Old Wang Er looked at me with a smug expression and said, "The smartest among you is definitely you. From now on, they will be entrusted to you as well"

Seeing it this way reminds me of Wang Lao Er's notorious misdeeds: "Did you take something from him? He is clearly coming for you"

I am no longer willing to listen to his nonsense about reincarnation or whatever. Right now, I only have these twenty-something years; I can't remember anything before the age of seven. He is now slandering Xiaoyue, and when I go back, I will tell her to deal with this guy.

I carefully examined Chen Pangzi and said, "Old Chen, we are now at least half colleagues, so tell me honestly, do we have a Dragon Team or not"

At this moment, Wang Lao Er turned his head and said to me: "This is a damn half-demon."

I absolutely believe what he said; whatever he says makes him a prophetic figure. Making a scarecrow or casting a spell is quite trivial. However, what does he mean when he says that in the future, the old dogs and their group will rely on me for care?

I... I can't believe it, you love to talk, I've spent most of my life, and you little bastard are threatening me

I asked what a half-demon is, and he told me that a half-demon is a creature that forcibly merges with a human, then uses the human body to reconstruct its own body. It is extremely cruel; the person is still alive, able to see and hear, but cannot speak. Their limbs do not obey their commands, and they suffer from incontinence.

Wang Laoer patted Chen Pangzi on the shoulder and said, "Tell him, otherwise he will ask you every time he sees you, he is such a perfectionist."

Heaven is truly unyielding to people's wishes, as a figure gradually approaches from the end of the road. My eyesight is not very good, so I can only see that this person is slightly hunched over, not very tall, and quite thin.

You are the one with obsessive-compulsive disorder, and your entire family has it too

At this moment, Wang Laoer, who was originally reeking of alcohol, suddenly stood up straight, his complexion returning to normal, the smell of alcohol dissipating. He fixed his gaze on me, his eyes filled with unrestrained intensity.

After finishing the New Year's Eve dinner, the old dog was clearly drunk. He hugged Xiao Lizzi and kept crying, while also begging Xiao Lizzi to marry him. I stood by, smiling without saying a word, and Xiao Yue was also smiling silently. Xiao Lizzi was caught between laughter and tears, while Bi Fang was laughing heartily. Wang Lao Er had long slipped under the table.

"Does this concern my parents?" I was astonished, for I am an atheist, and I personally feel that the concept of a past life is purely fictional

I am the regional commander of an intelligence department, and I also deal with minor monsters. Chen the Fat's attitude is clearly dismissive towards me

Lacking skin on the body, the head appears disproportionately large, and a white mask covers the face. Strikingly, two bulging eyes, at least of cup size B, protrude outward, resembling a radiation-affected Ultraman at first glance, while urine drips down as it walks. I nearly vomited.

The child cannot give it to you

I rely on you to clarify, but do you really have to throw in a jab at me as well

Wang Laoer tossed aside the cigarette butt and chewed over his own words for a while: "Don't say it sounds strange to you; it sounds strange to me too. In a few days, I will take the key and go find the Hanging Garden, so don't worry! No one can harm me right now; anyone who wants to bring me trouble, I curse them to be unable to get out of bed."

I think to myself, if you can call out like that, it would be a miracle. Go home and sleep; people are hard to come by. Now, they can just kill you in their dreams. If it were me, I wouldn't come out at all

I was utterly perplexed and asked the audience on site, "What is the situation?"

That lewd version of Ultraman had drool dripping from its mouth, and its B-cup eyes were fixated on Wang Lao Er, completely ignoring my presence

I can't believe it, if there isn't any, then there isn't. Are you taking advantage of me? What exactly is your position?

I do not threaten you; I only ask to wear the military uniform for a few days

"Don't call out in such a disgusting manner, just say it directly." This voice from Xiaoyun made my bones feel brittle, cracking loudly.

Since you do not understand, you must ask: "Please explain it to me clearly."

Give me a reason

"Xiao Chen, during the time I am away, if you have any matters, just consult him. As long as the price is similar to what I offer, it will be fine," Wang Lao Er said, pointing at me while addressing Chen Pangzi.

Wang Laoer also had a grim expression, covering his nose with one hand: "How the hell was I supposed to know it would be something like this?"

The short, non-human, paralyzed figure in the distance is getting closer to us. I am not sure if it is a psychological effect or something else, but I can vaguely smell a stench of feces and urine.

Really

Is it okay not to say anything? I am just a nominal figure

Fortunately, I do not drink at all. If I were to get drunk and let slip some secrets from the depths of my heart, I would be left with only two options: one is suicide, and the other is silencing the witness. However, the likelihood of silencing the witness is quite low, so I suppose I am doomed.

Chen Pangzi nodded honestly

I took a careful look and felt that something was amiss. What time is it now? Even during the New Year, it shouldn't be completely deserted. There are no cars on the road, no sounds of firecrackers, and even the lively sounds of Northeast sketches from the Spring Festival Gala are absent. It is so quiet that it feels like being in another world.

I nodded

Do you know why you all have been together all these years?" Wang Lao Er lit a White Sand cigarette, took a deep puff, and his expression was one of ecstasy

Oh dear, I need to see how the general will explain this to the old dogs. I truly did not expect that Wang Lao'er would actually be a general; this is simply a tragedy

I fear neither heaven nor earth, but I do fear the way a man looks at me. I withdrew my hand, which was still resting on him, and looked at Wang Lao Er with the same gaze I would use to look at Mao Ning.

I glanced with my eyes and tilted my head: "At first, I had no idea, but now that you mention it, I can tell just by thinking with my backside that it was your doing"

He flaunted his success: "The earth bears the strength given to you, and the mountains and rivers suppress what you grasp. Do you understand? This is not your greatness; it is the greatness of nature"

Wang Laoer shrank his neck and said: "Not yet. Speaking of which, the only monsters in the world without records are you and the Qilin. You coordinate the heavens and the earth, while he coordinates all things. Logically, neither of you should reincarnate. But now, here you are standing in front of me, making it difficult for me to bear this situation"

Chen Pangzi widened his eyes, his expression one of helplessness: "I told you, there isn't any. My son keeps asking me too."

It stood up without any awareness and continued to charge at me for a second round. Just as I was about to be hit by its incredibly foul-smelling body, I decisively rolled over and got back on my feet. I stepped on its massive head, and it struggled desperately, but to no avail.

I looked at Wang Lao Er with a smile that was not quite a smile, there must be gossip, absolutely there is gossip: "What about you?"

I am not quite clear about the meaning of Wang Lao Er, and this time I truly do not understand: "I am not the smartest; Xiaoyue is. What you said sounds a bit strange."

In the end, Wang Lao Er was unable to extract any useful information. He asked, "Who are you?" and the response was "Aow aow aow," making communication impossible due to the language barrier. In his helplessness, Wang Lao Er called Chen Pangzi. Moments later, Chen Pangzi arrived with a group of people dressed in pajamas or aprons, some of whom were covered in flour. Holding their noses, they used handcuffs and chains, along with the talisman given by Wang Lao Er, to apprehend this tragic Ultraman.

Then he stood up and shouted loudly towards the empty road on the other side: "Which little beast wants to plot against me, your grandfather? Come out quickly, or I will go home and sleep."

I thought to myself, this half-demon is quite filthy

Wang Laoer took out a piece of candy and stuffed it into his mouth: "As soon as I entered your door, I was targeted by a guy. I don't know what he wants to do, so here I am, looking for your protection."

Wang Lao Er, upon reaching this point, raised his head and looked around, then continued after a pause: "Your sister is listening to us! Now do you understand why you are impervious to water and fire, and invulnerable to swords and guns? It is because all things in the world are contained within your brothers of the Eight Trigrams zodiac. Do you think there is anything that can harm you? I don't know about atomic bombs, but I advise you not to try. As for your sister, let me put it this way: if Dehai is an unparalleled evil entity, then the Buddha Mother Peacock is the ancestor of all evil entities. Have you read any Buddhist texts? Even the Tathagata was swallowed. The probability of two such classic monsters reincarnating in one family is not much different from the odds of you winning the lottery every time from the moment you were born until you die. However, after spending a long time with your damn auspiciousness, Xiaoyue has long lost her ferocity. Just look at her now, what a wonderful girl she is. If I were forty years younger, I would pursue her."

The tragic Ultraman lunged at me using all four limbs. If it were to touch me, I would undoubtedly be unable to recover for the rest of my life. With quick reflexes, I sidestepped and delivered a side kick. This move was learned from Donnie Yen. I also wanted to learn Wing Chun, but the old dog said my innate talent was lacking and that I was not suited for martial arts.

Stepping on this thing feels just like stepping on dog feces, soft and sticky. Poor pair of Converse I bought last year, purchased from an authentic specialty store for over 400 yuan. If it weren't for the New Year, I really wouldn't want to wear them.

Wang Laoer took the bag of white sand from my pocket and sat down on the nearby steps, saying: "Xiao Yun, ah."

Transaction completed

However, I am also curious about what Wang Lao Er meant by being stepped on by the mountain: "What does it mean to be stepped on by the mountain?"

Wang Laoer was momentarily taken aback, then his face twisted in anger: "Nonsense, do you see anything on this thing that I can take?"

It was only when he was about fifty meters away from us that I saw his full appearance, and it was utterly disgusting. If it weren't for the fact that I often accompanied the old dogs to watch foreign horror films, I would have already vomited up the meal I had during the return of Macau.

Wang Laoer thought for a moment, then took out a square object from his pocket and handed it to me, saying: "Take this."

I do not know why, but anything I catch or step on cannot escape, no matter how much it struggles. This is also why the old dog never wants to practice with me; once caught by me, it becomes a tragedy, and its strikes are completely useless against me.

Wang Lao Er did not even lift his head: "Can you get into university because of the connections I found for you? Otherwise, do you really think you could get into university? At most, you would end up in a vocational school. I just told you that you can borrow the power of heaven and earth. Don't you feel the force others exert on you, no matter how strong it is? Is it true that nothing you catch can escape?"